For Christ’s Sake, Hit Reply

In this post Chris Ross, PhD grad of the University of Edinburgh and Christian news junkie addresses pastors (and all Christians!) on simple communication courtesy.

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 The church has been afflicted by an epidemic of social ineptitude, which affects not just the laity, but Christian leaders as well. I could cite many examples from personal experience as evidence, but one will suffice.

This past year I finished a graduate degree and began to look for teaching jobs at Christian colleges and seminaries here in the U. S.

One prospect looked especially promising, and I enjoyed two phone conversations with my liaison at the school in question, an instructor of theology and history. At the end of our second exchange he told me that he would be talking with some of the administrators about the hire, and said he would get back to me in a week’s time.

I never heard from him or anyone else at the college again.

I emailed him to follow up. No response.

I left a message on his voicemail. No response.

Maybe he left the college, I thought. No, he remains there to this day, as the institution’s latest website update affirms.

A more persistent person might have kept trying to make contact, but I decided, given the treatment I had received (or rather, hadn’t received) at that point, that I didn’t really want to pursue work there.

Happily, I encountered better at most places. About half the folks with whom I corresponded (Multnomah Bible College comes to mind) were kind and professional in the way they turned me down.

Recently, I related the story above to a friend of mine who has worked as a pastor for over a decade. He echoed my lament, and said it amazed him that so many Christians who had ‘walked with the Lord’ and sat under godly preaching for years could continue to spurn the tenets of basic social etiquette, while so many non- or nominal Christians he knew behaved with impeccable tact and professionalism.

Brothers and sisters, this should not be!

Faith without common courtesy is dead. Jesus told his followers that their behavior must not only match, but supersede that of people in the world (see, for example, what he said about showing kindness to one’s enemies, Matt. 5:43-48). Sadly, the behavior of many believers falls below the norm.

Change begins with you, church leaders. If you neglect to do ‘the little things’ to affirm the dignity of individuals in your flock, you forfeit your right to explain the lofty things of God to them. It is futile to talk about the glories of redemption if you are consistently cold, aloof or arrogant in your everyday interactions.

The old cliché is true: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

I’d like to get very practical here and share one habit that you can develop in order to model biblically winsome behavior for your people. That is,

REPLY TO EVERY PERSONAL EMAIL MESSAGE YOU GET.

I’m referring to messages from real human beings who have an even semi-legitimate reason for trying to contact and correspond with you. This definitely includes all the staff and regular attendees at your church, as well as the vast majority of your family, friends and acquaintances.

When these people send an email and expect a response from you, you need to reply!

If you don’t, they will invariably assume one of the following (listed from most-to-least charitable):

•    Their email didn’t get through to you, for some reason
•    You received their email and replied, but your reply didn’t get to them, for some reason
•    You’re out of the office or got fired
•    You’re still not good with technology (this is forgiveable if you’re over 45)
•    You’re putting off replying because the content of their message requires a lengthy response, and you’ve got a busy career
•    You’re putting off replying because the content of their message requires an emotionally difficult response; ergo, you’re a bit of a coward
•    You lost track of their message, which means you haven’t learned to manage your inbox and/or your time; ergo, you’re not great at managing things (even though you’ve been placed in leadership)
•    You didn’t realize their email required a response, which indicates you didn’t give it due attention; ergo, you don’t think they’re important; ergo, you’re a jerk
•    You’ve decided to ignore their email; ergo, you’re a jerk

Fairly or unfairly, when you neglect to reply to a personal email message, you put your reputation and your Christian witness at risk.

The good news is that while replies need to be timely, they don’t have to be lengthy. If you don’t have time to give an email due attention within a day or two of receiving it, let the sender know by hitting reply and writing something like this:

Dear [Sender],

Thanks for your note. I’m having a busy [day/couple days/week], but I will try to get back to you about this in the next [day/couple days/week/two weeks/etc.].

Regards,

[You]

Believe me, he or she will feel more gratified getting deferred in this way than they would if they received nothing back (or a response that was favorable but came a week later).
 
Mark their message as ‘Unread’ and come back to it later, when you have time.

If you don’t have time to respond as thoroughly as the sender might wish, let them know that as well. You may need to forward their message to someone who can give them the information they seek.

Above all, make an attempt to dignify and affirm, in some way, every person who solicits a response from you. They will respect you (rightly) for doing so, and you will help to create a culture of Christ-like kindness which outsiders will find endearing.

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Phil. 2:4).

It starts with the little things, and it starts with you. For Christ’s sake, hit Reply.

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Chris Ross is the owner/editor of two Christian news sites, The Daily Scroll (for lay readers) and Sic et Non (for church leaders). He recently completed a doctorate in church history from the University of Edinburgh, researching puritan spirituality.